Oh, I like this one. I like this one a lot.

Seems Wired Magazine (a publication which I will willingly excoriate: I hate them, and have, until today, found almost nothing of value betwix, on, or near their pages) has done a delightful thing. They ask a bunch of authors to follow Hemingway’s example, and write a six-word story. The results are published here. Many of the web-only ones suck, but this one is just fucking brilliant:

He read his obituary with confusion.
- Steven Meretzky

Yes, that is outstanding.

…

I think that’s all I have to say. Save, of course, for a digressive post-script. Stand by for that.

p.s. I’m thinking I need to update this here blog software. Blogger is cool and everything, but it’s got a couple of problems with it. On the + side of the equation, there is the convenience, the simplicity, the overall Google-ness of it all. On the – side of the equation there is my utter inability to create any kind of “previous / next” post links on the site, without hand-editing every page Blogger makes (which ain’t gonna happen, people, let’s be reasonable here).

So, contemplating solutions.

Okay, now I (for one) had never heard of one Keith Olbermann, but I can tell you that since I received a link thing in my email inbox, clicked it, and gave it the full ten minute treatement, that situation has changed.

I mean no hyperbole when I say that this man is a hero. Not in a “I saved lives on Iwo Jima” kind of way, but there is, as you may know, more than one kind of hero. Here, try this on for size:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2741495278498207314

I can only say this: it is about goddamn time someone started talking like that.

Here’s another one:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3592217964261572444

If you are a fan of Mr. Olbermann already, then this is likely a familiar feeling of happiness and patriotic respect that you are feeling. If you, like me, are just now being introduced to the man, then let me assure you! They’re all like that!

The interview Mr. Olbermann is referring to (the one with Mr. Ex-President Clinton) can also be watched over teh Interweb, and it, not the others, is the actual point of this blog post.

Click this and watch it, if you are in a good spot to spend 1/4 of an hour. Fuck that, watch it even if you don’t have the time. It is certainly worth it.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=9026120716999978732

Mr. Olbermann is The Man, it is true, but Mr. President? I applaud you. I applaud you from the deepest reserves of what is left of my tattered patriotism, and I thank you for having the courage to fucking put it to him like that. It’s one thing to criticize from the bench. It is another to stand up and be righteous.

…

Please, a moment of silence, in respect of the awesome job that man did in saying true things.

…

Go Bill.

W00t.

Here, for your perusal, rejection, and eventual acceptance, are two interesting post on my current favorite topic. (And by “favorite” I mean that which consumes 1 in 3 posts on this goddamn text experiment I call my semi-wheneverthefuckIfeellikeit webzine. You guessed it.)

First, a tale of woe from a World of Warcraft addict, who describes the depths of despair that drove him to (gasp) quit.

Now, as an addict myself, I feel obligated to chastise this person publicly, and tear apart his arguments with bitter invective, thus decreasing the impact of his message to my own person, and further rationalizing my own behavior.

…

Or, not. Here’s the other side of the coin. Or, if you prefer, the same side of another coin: a response from a person (who the gender noun used in some of the responses seem to indicate is a woman) who is still playing, and in the same guild as the above gentleman.

I gotta say: to me, this second article so completely describes how I feel about my own participation in this game that I… very much want my wife to read it.

Of course, the “life killing soulwrecking madness” from the first article in no way reflects on me. I can quit any time.

p.s. There was an interesting follow-up to the first post: it includes a brief disclaimer by the blog site owner (who is not the post author), along with reprints of the comments from the first post he found the most interesting. Worth scanning.

I often come to you with descriptions of the kind of rampant interactivity-centered madness that my life revolves around. I have been forthcoming, I think, about how utterly consumed I can become with tiny avatars of humanity… pawns, perhaps (or, maybe ambassadors is a better descriptor) that I maneuver around a wide variety of imaginary, conflict-laden grounds. It’s my thing, I think. It may not be “news” to any of you that I have a lot of these little guys, both virtual and physical.

I play with dolls.

Fast-forward to Now… into this atmosphere of collective avatarism arrives an innocent looking white cardboard box.

This box is rumored to bear a collection of metal and plastic Ork reinforcements to supplement my Orkie hordes. I have a friend, who you all know on this site as “The Todd”. The Todd played and collected Orkies waaaaaaaaay back in gaming prehistory, and decided this year that it would be really funny to bury me under his collection, and see how long it took me to dig my way out.

But… see… there are already a great number of Orkies at my house.

So, it behooves us on this occasion to take a step back and assess what it is we are actually talking about here. Hand me that wide angle lens.

I command three Warhammer armies. 2 for Warhammer 40,000 (or, “WH40K” as it is affectionately abbreviated), and 1 for regl’ar ol’ Warhammer (or, “Warhammer Fantasy” as it is affectionately extended). Each of these “armies” number in the general area of 5000 points.

…

I know, that means nothing to you. Let me put it to you this way.

The bulk of my Space Marines are something like eight squads of these guys (yes, that’s eighty figures). I have Four squads of these (20 figures total). Three of these things. Like, twelve of these guys. One of these, him, a couple of these, two or three of these, and a couple of special banner dudes. Aaaaaaand, then I have like twenty five of these guys, with another ten of this kind of those guys, a couple of random ones of these, and like ten of these. They drive around in two of these, and I’ve got two squads of these guys (which really will fuck your shit up, I can tell you), and I just got this guy (finally). Oh, and like two squads of these guys. Soooo, that’s like 200 figures.

Aaaaaand so my Tyranid forces are controlled by two of these, who are guarded by three of these guys. I have three of these, and three of them… who spit out lots and lots of these (so I have like twenty of them). I can deploy four of these guys, much to the chagrin of my enemies. I have sixteen of these, which is just not enough to be useful, as I can attest from lots and lots of experience watching them die. I need 16 more. Nine of these, ten of these (getting those was a bitch, I can tell you), and three of these that I have recently brought back from the “all of my arms have fallen off” graveyard. There are a bunch (like, twenty) of these lying around, but they don’t get any action because they suck. Aaaaaaaaaand then of course I have something like eighty of these… (thirty-two of the pointy-clawed ones, and the rest are the guys with guns). And I have him, and he leads… a whole bunch of these. Five squads of twelve, what is that? Sixty. So, okay, that’s like 250 models.

Hooo.

My Orc Hordz are lead by these three maniacs. Somehow, I manage to accumulate around eighty of these guys, um… uh… Okay, it’s one hundred and forty of these. I can admit it. They are supported by sixteen of these, twenty-odd of these, and around forty of these. I recenltly acquired twenty of these. I have two of these, one of these, and two of these. I have like four of these fine fellows, and six of these (and as my opponents can tell you, they are the bloody beating nefarious heart of my army). I command twelve of these guys, and a nice big unit of these delightful things. Six of these. And, everyone needs one of these in their army. Um, oh dear lord that’s almost four hundred models.

…

Like I said. Around 5000 points per army.

It’s okay. I can quit any time.

Do you begin to see the absurdity level here? You remember the white box of yore? The box that contains another player’s nearly complete Orc army??

So, I open it.

Keep in mind that I’m only showing you the new figures in these pictures. Everything I already told you about is behind me, in shelves, neatly tucked away.

I may never recover.

Way back in the dark, desperate time in my life that I worked at Electronic Arts (which, if I ever return to their employ, I will no doubt look back on as a bright and hopeful beginning of an illustrious carreer), there was this excercise equipment manufacturer who was testing something called the Kilowatt at the Electronic Arts gym. The basic idea here was to combine video games (a compulsive, long-hours-at-time type of behavior) with exercise (a keep-you-alive, but not-very-fun) kind of behavior.

I figured it was genius. I actually really enjoyed using the device, although in practice it was really just a very amusing way to get a great upper-body workout. It interfered with the game itself, so you couldn’t really say it was a controller. More of an intriguing and tricky-to-use way to hook up video games to an exercise machine.

At the time, the manufacturer was very interested in our feedback. I seemed to be the primary dude actually using the device (it was put right out in the middle of the floor, which meant that most people wouldn’t even attempt it for fear of looking like an idiot), and at one point I managed to break one of the bolts on the prototype, so their people seemed interested in me in particular. So, in my normal wall-flower way, I yakked their ear off at length about their device.

At one point, I opined to them that it would be fantastic if they could manage to hook up a keyboard, mouse, and PC / PC monitor to some kind of exercise device. Say, an exercise bike. So that I could work out my heart muscle while playing World of Warcraft, you see.

Fast forward three years.

The world has heard my prayers. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Geek-a-Cycle. And, please send me one for Xmas. It is, after all, right around the corner.