Attempting Desperately To Escape, He Perished.

Oh, I like this one. I like this one a lot.

Seems Wired Magazine (a publication which I will willingly excoriate: I hate them, and have, until today, found almost nothing of value betwix, on, or near their pages) has done a delightful thing. They ask a bunch of authors to follow Hemingway's example, and write a six-word story. The results are published here. Many of the web-only ones suck, but this one is just fucking brilliant:

He read his obituary with confusion.
- Steven Meretzky

Yes, that is outstanding.

...

I think that's all I have to say. Save, of course, for a digressive post-script. Stand by for that.

p.s. I'm thinking I need to update this here blog software. Blogger is cool and everything, but it's got a couple of problems with it. On the + side of the equation, there is the convenience, the simplicity, the overall Google-ness of it all. On the - side of the equation there is my utter inability to create any kind of "previous / next" post links on the site, without hand-editing every page Blogger makes (which ain't gonna happen, people, let's be reasonable here).

So, contemplating solutions.

Bill Clinton Has Balls Of Steel

Okay, now I (for one) had never heard of one Keith Olbermann, but I can tell you that since I received a link thing in my email inbox, clicked it, and gave it the full ten minute treatement, that situation has changed.

I mean no hyperbole when I say that this man is a hero. Not in a "I saved lives on Iwo Jima" kind of way, but there is, as you may know, more than one kind of hero. Here, try this on for size:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2741495278498207314

I can only say this: it is about goddamn time someone started talking like that.

Here's another one:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3592217964261572444

If you are a fan of Mr. Olbermann already, then this is likely a familiar feeling of happiness and patriotic respect that you are feeling. If you, like me, are just now being introduced to the man, then let me assure you! They're all like that!

The interview Mr. Olbermann is referring to (the one with Mr. Ex-President Clinton) can also be watched over teh Interweb, and it, not the others, is the actual point of this blog post.

Click this and watch it, if you are in a good spot to spend 1/4 of an hour. Fuck that, watch it even if you don't have the time. It is certainly worth it.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=9026120716999978732

Mr. Olbermann is The Man, it is true, but Mr. President? I applaud you. I applaud you from the deepest reserves of what is left of my tattered patriotism, and I thank you for having the courage to fucking put it to him like that. It's one thing to criticize from the bench. It is another to stand up and be righteous.

...

Please, a moment of silence, in respect of the awesome job that man did in saying true things.

...

Go Bill.

W00t.

I... WANT One

Way back in the dark, desperate time in my life that I worked at Electronic Arts (which, if I ever return to their employ, I will no doubt look back on as a bright and hopeful beginning of an illustrious carreer), there was this excercise equipment manufacturer who was testing something called the Kilowatt at the Electronic Arts gym. The basic idea here was to combine video games (a compulsive, long-hours-at-time type of behavior) with exercise (a keep-you-alive, but not-very-fun) kind of behavior.

I figured it was genius. I actually really enjoyed using the device, although in practice it was really just a very amusing way to get a great upper-body workout. It interfered with the game itself, so you couldn't really say it was a controller. More of an intriguing and tricky-to-use way to hook up video games to an exercise machine.

At the time, the manufacturer was very interested in our feedback. I seemed to be the primary dude actually using the device (it was put right out in the middle of the floor, which meant that most people wouldn't even attempt it for fear of looking like an idiot), and at one point I managed to break one of the bolts on the prototype, so their people seemed interested in me in particular. So, in my normal wall-flower way, I yakked their ear off at length about their device.

At one point, I opined to them that it would be fantastic if they could manage to hook up a keyboard, mouse, and PC / PC monitor to some kind of exercise device. Say, an exercise bike. So that I could work out my heart muscle while playing World of Warcraft, you see.

Fast forward three years.

The world has heard my prayers. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Geek-a-Cycle. And, please send me one for Xmas. It is, after all, right around the corner.

Weird Al + Bill Plympton = Genius

Don't download this song.

A Quickie

Some days, I like to offer you all a little treat before we start. A netsnack, if you will. Today is one of those days. Something like 90% of my readers (if... it is possible to divide that group by 10, which I'm not certain about) will have already seen this, as it came my way via that selfsame group, but what the heck. The rest of you deserve it just as much as they do. More, even.

Remember: sometimes you just have to punch an alien in the face.

http://echosphere.net/star_trek_insp/star_trek_insp.html

Yes.

I sit here today, idly scratching my ribs (I have ribs. Who would have thought?), contemplating my blogitude.

I enjoy this process of public journaling immensely. I never would have imagined, prior to leaping forward into the virtual arena, that I could take such pleasure from something so simple.

But at the same time, it is oddly constraining. There are, you see, many things I would very much like to talk about, but I feel reluctant. The "Google will spider the page and it will be filed in the bowels of their archives for the next 1,000,000 years" thing is, honestly, a little daunting. It's like... well, it's like publishing your inner thoughts. I imagine the feeling is equivalent to people who find that their drug addled home videos have been published to the Internet.

I apologize, that was a cheap shot.

I really didn't have anything else to say about that.

Random Zombies

Before we get started today, you really need to watch this.

That's how I always did that level.

...

Now, I have something else for you. At work here, we sometimes get involved in what I would describe as less-than-productive behavior. This is, perhaps, not entirely uncommon in my industry.

That said, rarely has a day been so completely destroyed than the day that my office-mates and I found The Zombie Game.

I am grislyness. Grislyness, the zombie. As of right now, I am ranked 672nd. I rule.

Unfortunately, I am currently being held captive by my malicious overlord, the UnTrevor. But let me assure you, ladies and gentlemen, that will not stand. No. The UnTrevor is going down.

Here's the thing about this game: it's just a freakin' website. It's... it's... not even really a game in the way we have come to think of it. It's more like a play-by-mail game where the turns are very, very fast.

Must admit, though. Draining the vitality of my minions to serve my nefarious ends is pretty satisfying. Even if it's just a website.

I will be sending out infection invitations to many of you. This will insure my ongoing power. Do not fear me; together, we can rule the known universe. Also, it will add your name to their spam list, which is always a good thing.

Mu hu. Wa ha. Wa ha.

o.O

People... are really freakin' funny.

You may (or may not) be familiar with the Elder God C'thun. He(/She/It) is the end boss of An'Qiraj... which, if you have a life also might need some explaining. It's a dungeon in World of Warcraft, of course, one of many.

Well, yesterday I hooked up with C'thun's MySpace. He's a swingin' fellow, as it turns out. He just wants some mortals to consume, is that so much to ask?

Turns out MySpace is becoming quite the popular hang out for the World of Warcraft named mobs. How these virtual entities are managing to reach across the interstellar void of existence itself (as, you know, they only exist in the most thin of interpretations of the word) to, you know, dink around with HTML and construct a homepage on a social networking site... well, perhaps it's something best left unexplored.

The complete roster, however, is certainly worth a look.

My apologies to those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about. This shit is way funnier if you've fought and killed these jerks 45 times. But, I think it might still be amusing (assuming you share my twisted perspective on humor) even if you haven't been farming these guys for drops.

Ahem.

Blackrock Mountain (various):

• Nefarian (who seems to take his job very seriously... I respect that)
• General Drakkisath

Ahn'Qiraj:

• C'thun
  
• Emperor Vek'nilash

Zul-Gurub:

• Hakkar (sometimes an Elder God just needs a hug)

Molten Core:

• Ragnaros has two pages, it seems. He seems to be experimenting.
  
• Majordomo Executus (coward)
• Magmadar (the cutest giant two-headed lava dog in the world, who'sagoodboy, who'sagoodboy!!)

Various other instances:

• Onyxia (the Black Dragon Queen)
• Baron Rivendare (who has chosen a tastefully framed pic for himself)
• Lord Kazzak
• Archmage Arugal
• Cookie (the ship's cook), who's taste in homepage music is nothing short of exquisite...

Folks who are Outside:

• Sylvanas (you know, the Banshee who freed the Undead from the shackles of their masters, giving them free will? Yeah. She sounds kinda confused about it though.)
• Prince Thunderaan, The Wind Seeker
• ...Auctioneer Wabang? God damn it, I knew that dude made a lot of money, but... WOW! How do I get that job!?!

And, my personal favorite:

• Hogger

...

The Internet... is the best thing ever.

E x E x E

On Thursday, yours truly flew down to the greater Los Angeles area, and struck, single-man-insertion-mission-style, a lightning reconnaissance on the enemy. The folks at E3 never knew I was there.

This, of course, has almost entirely to do with the 150,000,000 other people who were there, many of which look kinda like me. Also, the bass was pumpin'. The 100' tall video screens didn't hurt as a distraction, either.

The ability to pick perfect venues for lighting reconnaissance makes or breaks the mission.

Lemme tell you. There are some games coming out. And soon.

A few notables worth examining:

• Heavenly Sword - Oh. My. God. After seeing this gameplay (that's gameplay footage, people; I recommend "Heavenly Sword - E3 2K6 Gameplay HD"), I went over to the God o' War II display, and went: "...feh."
  

• Lost Planet - The strangest thing for me about this game is that I know it's going to be big, even though I only glanced at the preview movie, and stood watching someone play for about three seconds. Why? Because everyone (and I mean everyone) at the show who I talked to asked me if I had seen it. Gotta admit, it looks cool.
  

• The Burning Crusade is, of course, going to continue to ruin my ability to enjoy anything else.
  

• I will be playing Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Prey, and Spore.
  

There were a few wonderful surprises lying in wait:

• Warhammer: Mark of Chaos looks soundly enjoyable. They have my Orkies, and big stoopid giants, so, pretty much, I'm there.
• Tabula Rasa... you know, I've been skeptical, and as much as I have wanted to believe that Richard Gariott was going to pull it out, it's been looking dicey. But... hmmmm... he put... that magic symbol thing in front of the chick's hand, and all of a sudden his sci-fi mistake is starting to look like something that might actually be unique... I'm getting interested.
• Crysis looks cool, although not really my cup o' meat.
• Lemmings PSP is the perfect PSP game. I will buy a PSP just to play this game.
• I really want Dungeon Runners to be as cool as Rogue and NetHack were back in the day... but it won't be. *sigh*

Here's a page for people who want to taste how goddamn overwhelming it is to attend E3. Go ahead. Read about 'em all. I dare you.

All in all, I gotta say... I think the age of invention is over. What I mean by that is that for the last 30 years, folks have been struggling to invent this new entertainment medium. And, it looks to me like the work has been successfully accomplished. Nice job!

Now begins the age of competition.

I Cannot Believe He Just Said That

So, you may have noticed that I haven't written in a while.

It's not that I don't love you; I do.

In fact, to prove it, instead of the post I was going to write (which I will write eventually, I just need to get my nerve up), I'm going to give you something.

Some of you may know that I [heart] Jon Stewart. If you watch The Daily Show, then I commend you, and I offer my condolences.

[ASIDE: That link, by the way, is the single best argument I know of for why being able to watch TV on your computer is a good thing.]

[...also, if you use Firefox, good fucking luck making that website work. Even I have to use Internet Exploder when I use that site.]

Now, you may or may not know that Stephen Colbert (of said show) recently spun off his own show, The Colbert Report.

This show, while not quite as delightfully yummy and watchable as Mr. Stewart's, is certainly a great deal more acerbic. (Here's a link to the definition of that word, if you, like me, didn't know what it truly meant until I looked it up, after I had used it in a sentence.)

But let me be clear, that is not what I am offering you here. No.

No friends, no. The thing I have for you today is, quite possibly, the most painfully aggressive public roast in human history. And I have it for you, on video.

Understand this: Stephen Colbert is... stunningly direct in his backhanded criticism of the current administration. And, the thing is, when he is presented with a choice between the two, he consistently chooses poignancy over laughs. This makes him a little hard to watch... there are many moments on his show where the audience is clearly trying to laugh, although they are so uncomfortable at what he just dared to say on the air that they're not sure they... are allowed to?

And... so... clearly, a good idea would be to invite Mr. Colbert to be the closing speaker at the White House Correspondent's Association Dinner. Which the President attended. Along with a whole buch of other dignitaries.

Let me offer you a quick warning: I mentioned that he is willing to sacrifice the laugh to make a point? Oh... man.

Watch the whole thing. I honestly cannot believe that this happened.

GDC Found Art

I've recently been showing you (y'all) various interactive thingymajobbers that can be engaged with on the web. And, I... seem to be unable to stop myself.

I attended the Game Developer's Conference last week. Normally this is an excruciatingly pleasant affair for me; I really dig swimming around in academic-style higher-learning thinking, and reminding myself of the fundamentals of what we do.

This year? Not so much. I was fighting a flu of some kind, and when I get sick I get stupid. So, I missed most of the talks I wanted to see, the talks I did see sucked badly, and I just generally walked around and went "duuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh..."

However, I did find something I want to show you.

The Independant Games Festival (IGF) is a hoot; folks make games for free, and then compete for a cash prize and the prestige of their fellow game developers (which hopefully translates into some kind of distribution deal--HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *wipes tear from eye* hooo, boy I crack myself up sometimes... no, seriously though, I think someone one time got some money for it, but I can't confirm that).

The IGF benefits me directly, because I get to play their games. Most times, they are not so good. Lots of love there, but...

Common mistakes repeat themselves endlessly among the new initiates into the realm of entertainment making, and games are no exception to that. But, every once in a while, you get a rare gem. Something that could not ever possibly make money, but is so completely captivating that it can only be described as art.

Palette is that.

Before you click on that, here's a couple of hints to help you navigate the unbelievable overdone website. Click on the door, and then... don't panic. Everything's okay; the little window that just exploded and then resized itself is the game. I know, I know, it's just a black window. Wait for it. Wait... wait... it'll load. Do not try to click back to the main site; it's useless to you now.

There you go. Now, as a favor to the latent stained glass artist in all of us, spend ten minutes with it.

Oh yeah, and turn the sound on. It's just not the same game without the sound.

Here's something that isn't obvious until you've dumped four hours into it (like I might have done, I don't really remember, it's all a blur of color and light... so... beautiful...): there are several color layouts for each "window". When you replay, you will likely have a completely different problem to solve than the first time you played it.

Not sure if you care that much. God knows I do. But, I'm starting to wonder about my sanity.

Here's Something For Ya

I have spent about 30 minutes with this thing so far. It is...

Well, here, take a look for yourself.

There is this whole new experience that the vile alchemy of Teh Interwebs + Flash + Creative Geniuses + lots of free time has created. Let us call this branch on the tree of entertainment "Amazing Things That Should Not Be Free But Somehow Are". There are many examples of this, some of which can be found on the sidebar of this very blog. Yes indeedy.

Actually, let's just remind our readership (all two of you) about some of that.

If you haven't played Tower Of Goo... well, what the hell, man. Do I have to spell it out for you? C-L-I-C-K... T-H-E... L-I-N-K. I know, I know, "But I have to download it, man. How come I can't just play it?" Yeah, shut up. Download, play.

On the topic of The Swarm, it is important to understand that my daughter, once hooked in to a particular challenge, is pitbull-like in her inability to release the tether until she has somehow pegged an impossible score. She did this with the "keep the red box from hitting the blue boxes game", and she did it here. I think the macabre nature of the piece in question helped keep her attention. I believe her highest impact velocity was 218mph. Beat that.

There are more. So many more. I hesitate to even link; I fear the destructive power such a post might have.

All of this coalesces into the strange world that is the Now; a world where we can casually drift across a vast network of information, and occasionally be entertained by objects of such beauty and simplicity that ten years ago, and rolling on back four million years, they were impossible. I caution you: the future has more of this coming for you, and it's coming soon.

It Moves Me

I...

Is it strange, perhaps, that something this simple can move me to the brink of tears? It's a commercial, in the end, but that doesn't take away from the sensation that rolls down my spine when I watch it. That would be awe.

And... that's all I have for you right now. Rest assured, much has happened, and it will be discussed.

Flintlocke. Yes, Really.

I love the Internet. Let me just set that straight. I've heard these "the Darklord hates the Interweb" rumors, and I'm saying it here for the record: it's a dirty, damn lie. And I've paid good money to have it squelched, so let's just let it end here. Cool?

I specifically love web comics.

I grewed up reading the funny pages every damn day. I remember this one time, I brought a bunch of Peanuts collections to keep me entertained during some religious meeting my father was was attending at a friend's house, and ended up embarassing him horribly because I was giggling away in the bedroom to Snoopy while the adults were trying to commune with the big "G" or something.

I really haven't changed much since then. I still loves me a good comic strip. Yes I do.

And, for those of you who don't know, the goddamn Internet has changed the entire face of this delightful medium. Yes it has. For you see, it had long been understood that there were only twenty-seven or so comic strips in existence (only enough to fill a page and a half in your local newspaper), and it was further understood that these strips had to be bland, banal, and pretty fucking stupid, generally, or else the editors of said papers would cut them.

I like to think of this as the "Dark Ages" of comic-ery. Comicary. Comic... itude?

Then, lo, one day I was browsin' me some interweb, and I stumbled upon the best online comic strip story of all time. Sluggy Freelance is not so much a comic as it is an epic exertion of hilarity and drama, exerted out of its creator apparently by sheer force of will. It's outstanding.

If you haven't read it, start at the fucking beginning. Don't think you can just drop right in or something. Because you can't.

For me, see, this was a bit of an eye opener. "What's this??" said me befuddled noggin, "A comic strip, written for adults, that is funny, serious, witty, disturbing, and clever?? Whaaaaaaaa?"

Such a thing did not exist, as far as I knew, outside of Calvin and Hobbes (defunct) and Bloom County (also defunct). But, as it turns out, there are many, many more of these available for your viewing pleasure.

Flintlocke is not one of those.

No, friends. No.

Flintlocke is one of those things that can only exist inside the web. It is a horrid, awful abomination, a merging of ideas so foul that it should only be tasted in two's and three's.

...

I'm almost all the way through the archives. Oh. My. God.

Episode 1: Guide to Maiming Meat that Walks is... pretty much required reading. If you are a geek. Which I know you are.

And, anyone who has dumped more of their life than they should have into WoW pretty much needs to read Episode 2: Ogre Killing in 56 Easy Steps.

Beyond that, you have no one but yourself to blame.

The Smallest Pac

Why?

Because it's possible, apparently. Genius.

Believe it or not, the little arrows are to pick other games. The site actually starts here.

Something Brotherly. Something... Mario.

I'm afraid I have to show you something. I'm unable to prevent myself. And, I'm aware that, in total, I will not be bringing you joy. No, in fact, what I offer you is a vacancy.

However, I would point out that the road I point to you now is paved with joy. Pleasure is what has shaped the bricks that you will walk upon, so in that, at least, I am satisfied.

...

That's actually a lie. I just have to show you this shit.

I should get this out of the way right off the bat: there is no last chapter to the story I'm linking here for you. And, let's be clear: the lack of that final chapter is the origin of the suffering I mentioned above.

Yet, if you are wired as I am (and, if you're reading this, I gotta assume there's a reasonable amount of correlation there), after seeing

Mario Brothers - Part I

you will be unable to prevent yourself from treading, in full knowledge, into the empty abyss that awaits you.

Here's the path: Mario Brothers - Part II, Mario Brothers - Part III, and... uh, Mario Brothers - Part IV...

I'll put this here, just to fuck with you: Mario Brothers - Part V.

And, if you are one of those lucky bastards who don't mind a tale with no end, who can cavalierly accept the joys of the moment, without needing a closed, meaningful resolution, then fuck you, and the horse you rode in on. I'm not jealous of you, and I wouldn't admit it if I was.

...

Have you watched at least the first one? Go watch it. Yes, all the way through.

...

k.

So, here's something I want you to think about. The startling thing to me about this kind of presentation is that the amount of emotion I'm capable of generating over this stuff is roughly equivalent to the emotion I churn at a pretty good movie.

But that's people. This is a flash animation of a 2D side-scroller.

The same principle applies, I think, in anime. Anime as a style has distilled the communications necessary to generate emotion in the viewer down to their barest essence. Sudden shot of dramatic event (say, building collapsing), with our hero in frame, seeing what we are seeing... flash cut to their face, with pure amazement and/or fear, shaking camera... and that's all it takes. Amazing thing... character we empathize with in presence of amazing thing... emotion of said character... yaaaay! Entertainment!

There's more to say about this... specifically about how American media differs in their approach, but it's complicated, and I haven't really gelled the thought yet. Maybe later.

Okay, So I'm A Nerd. So What.

Play this.

So, the confounding thing about this is that it is "From the creators of Diner Dash™". Can anyone, anywhere, tell me who these people are?? I want to know. I mean, I know that PlayFirst is covetous of their exclusive relationship with their money tree, but still! I mean, are we talking space aliens here?

Who makes these games?

And how can I get more?

[edit: Oh, and if you haven't played Diner Dash, then goddamn it, I thought I told you to play it. ]

Today is WoW Movie Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=Yhm1ClW5uAY

Frost shoooooock!!

The Internet Is For Porn

http://www.break.com/index/wowporn.html

It's true.

Pelicans

Let's just keep this simple: I had a family holiday... thing this weekend to celebrate solstice, x-mas, and our 5-year wedding anniversary, all in one shebang. It was absolutely resoundingly wonderfully marvelous, largely due to two factors: The Pelican Inn and their marvelous staff, and my goddamn family.

Plug: if you are ever staying in the Bay Area, and want a wonderful, relaxing, fairly-British-like weekend, the Pelican is the place for you. I [heart] the Inn.

Plug The Second: My family r0x0rz the house. Most times, when you get your family together for a holiday thing, it's a drag. No one is comfortable, and the kids want to leave before you get there. This year, somehow, everyone wanted to stay, and everyone wanted to do it again. I don't really understand, but I'm rollin' with the punches, as they say.

Here's how it broke down:

Noon: Arrived at the Inn to discover mom was already hanging out in the Snug. Set up stuff. Hit play on the medieval solstice-y music compilation I had assembled not two hours prior.

(The Snug, by the way, is the guests-only lounge that hangs off the pub. As advertised, it is quite snug, with a big (big) fireplace and lots of furniture that will grab ahold of you and not let you go until you've given it a good sitting on.)

2:30pm: Everyone checked into their rooms, of which there are seven. We had reserved the whole place last year, and thus, the Snug was our own private lounge-o-rama. Cider, cookies, meats, fish & chips, and other goodies abounded.

2:45pm: Commenced hanging out in the Snug.

...

6:30pm: Extracted ourselves forcibly from the Snug, barely escaping it's clutches, in order to sit down to dinner. Ate meat. Everyone had little english cracker things, and toasts were made. By the end of the toasts, I was telling them to stop, stop, just stop, goddamn it, I can't see with all this liquid you're causing to pour from my eyes. It was quite disorienting.

8:00pm: Return to Snug. Dessert. Gift exchange. Marginal success, but everyone was so determined to have a good time that it was pretty fun.

9:30pm: My brother and my wife's sister's husband begin to discuss politics. Those of you who know either man know that this is a) inevitable, and b) unstoppable. I sneak upstairs for a "nap".

11:30pm: Awoken by my wife, who has given up on the two combatants, I crawl back downstairs, wish them all good luck and good fortune, and then return to collapse.

Some Ungodly Hour: The two crazy men agree to stop talking long enough for sleep to occur.

...

The Next Morning: We awake, with a food hangover.

9:00am: Food hangover or no, English breakfast is served in the... uh, well, I suppose you could call it a green house. It's kindof like a little enclosed patio, but is "indoor" enough to provide shelter from the torrential downpour that was occuring outside. Thus, we gather.

(As an aside, I can of course mention that this downpour added to the ambience in that "ooooh, it really sucks outside, but boy it's nice in here" kind of way.)

9:15am: Baby niece entertains the whole table by opening her presents, and playing with plastic barnyard animals. God damn that kid is cute.

10:00am: Breakfast thouroughly enjoyed, we retire to the Snug for a fond farewell. I instruct two of my children in the finer points of throwing darts. They are, of course, naturals at this; I'm sure that in twenty years they will both be competing in the international darts championships, against each other, with the victor walking away with $15,000,000. I'm betting on the kid who gets the best grades between now and then to win.

Have I mentioned that my kids read my blog sometimes?

12:00pm: Packed up, went home. Some folks ended up at our house, some didn't. Some revelry continues to this day.

Fucking awesome. Here's a shout out to all my family.

...None of which (save my wife & kids) read my blog. Sigh.

Once You Start Down The Dark Path

Yesterday, I go wandering into one of my designer's cubes. He's working away on his XBox dev kit, but (clever boy) he left a Darklord trap right there on his screen. His web-browser was pointed at... at...

Well, at this.

I have mentioned, have I not, how much I appreciate the indy games industry? Yes? Well and good. Now, there is another games industry afoot; one that is strange and multi-colored. Here and there, you can find these websites that are basically full of very, very addictive flash games & puzzles.

That you can play for free. Until you pass out. Or manage to pry yourself away from the screen.

Now, this particular incarnation of the free flash game is particularly insidious; it's half logic puzzle, half guessing-game, built around the idea of discovering the rules that govern this strange little world it's creator has fashioned, and then winding your way through the maze of possible triggers to find the win condition.

You poke it until it brightens up. Along the way, funny things happen. You know, games.

There are others of this sort, of course. They will also destroy your mind, if you let them. (I have not yet solved either of those two prior links, FYI. Taunt me at your leisure.)

Point to the Darklord: I solved the GrowCube. And I'm going to post the solution here.

Now, I'm not posting it for you. You should go and solve it. But, see, the best way for me to record the solution (so that I may later taunt my friends with my mad skillz) is to write it down. And, believe it or not, this here blog is currently the most reliable place for me to store information that I want to keep and be able to refer to later.

Does that scare you? It scares me. It certainly scares my wife.

So, here it is, for my record keeping.

People,Water,Seeds,Pot,Pipe,Fire,Dish,Bone,Spring,Ball

Don't cheat!! Solve it yourself!! It's freakin' bizarre, and totally worth it! Don't give in to the dark side, and peek at my solution before you solve it yourself!!

[evil laugh]

Again With The Blocks

These may well be the most fun toys I've ever gotten.

Just to be clear, what's happening here is that I'm taking molds like those shown at the right (and also shown in a previous post) that were purchased from Hirst Arts, and casting blocks out of plaster.

When I say "casting blocks out of plaster", one must understand that this is a significant threshold that I've crossed.

Plaster, you understand, is one of those craft materials that only grandmothers use. It's so fasionable out-of-date as to be historically quaint, in this era of plastics and uber-clay of all shapes and sizes. Why, the very notion of casting something out of something else is itself quaint in many circles. That would involve work, and why would you do that when you can just go and spend money?

Yes, but see...

The molds cost between $25 and $50 each. You can use them (get this) hundreds of times. They are not, in any sense of the word, disposable. You buy them with a certain commitment in mind, something like "boy, I'd better use these, or my wife will slice off my testicles with them, and wow, they are dull." Hypothetically speaking.

You need plaster to cast with. Plaster, for those of who who have lingered on the edge of craftyness, but have never actually dipped your toe in the waters, is a white powdery stuff that can easily pass for cocaine. You mix it with water (or, as I have learned, sift the plaster slowly into the water, thus allowing it to absorb more evenly... lumps are bad), pour it in to the mold, make a huge mess, and then wait for it to dry. It hardens into something that resembles stone, although is more fragile. It is, in a word, invented by God himself for constructing wargaming terrain.

And, it's like $3.00 a box. I've spent like $9 on plaster so far. It's cheap.

Beware, though. Once you first discover within yourself the ability to create your own Lego blocks, the future may become clouded and uncertain, filled with constant 40-minute casting cycles in which you generate more and more and more construction material for your constantly inflating plans. This may be unhealthy for those prone to obsessive behavior. I may suffer from this disorder; no conclusive evidence on the topic has yet escaped my minion's suppressive powers.

Once the blocks have been cast, they must dry. I can now measure the dryness of plaster blocks by touch. And, perhaps more chillingly, by smell. I dry my blocks our tiny oven, on cookie sheets. They don't taste as good as cookies, but they provide much more joy. Imagine that.

What do you do with a pile of plaster blocks? What wizardry is needed to assemble them into something intelligible?

Wood glue. Lo:

I give you, the Traveller's Bridge, Darklord-style.

What boggles my mind is that I modified their design on-the-fly while building this thing. The bridge steps in their version are narrow as sin, and are far too steep for my tastes. So I extended them and lengthened the bridge. Try that with a terrain kit from... some... other company that sells terrain... things.

Not only that, I can make a giant phallic symbol!

This is from this Egyptian mold they make.

A question: can you tell me, off the top of your head, the difference between Mayan and Egyptian architecture?


...

Well, fuck you, so you can. Who asked you anyway. My Mayan architecture that I'm building for my Lustria campaign is going to be graced with heiro-fucking-glyphics. Deal with it.

And what Mayan setting would be complete without a ziggurat? You know, a ziggurat?

It's on its way. I'll let you know when I'm done.

Hee hee hee

I love my toys.

Some time ago, this wacky friend of mine bought a metric truckload of molds from Hirst Arts Fantasy Architecture Inc.

At the time, I called him crazy. ... I also called him a diety, and washed his feet with wine, and my hair. See, because these are some of the coolest damn toys of all time. Imagine: Lego, except you can make all you want, and they're textured like stone.

[drool]

This weekend marked the first actual excursion into the land of Casting Plaster Blocks. And, I've gotta say, it's really, really fun.

First thing you do, see, is...

Well, wait. The first thing you do is read the instructions. Over and over.

Okay, then, the first thing you do is make yourself a litle casting station.

Here's the recommended station, from the website:

And, here's mine:

Mine's better. Mine isn't a goddamn STAGE SET.

In short order (like, within an hour of getting started), I was cranking out a bunch of these:

I have, at this point, a reasonable collection of blocks. I need more (oh yes, I need more), but for a first day's work? Not so bad.

My first attempt at assembly will be something resembling a bridge, although I'm going to have to modify the original plans some to accomodate the width of a Warhammer movement tray.

(If the phrase "Warhammer movement tray" means nothing to you, don't sweat it. You're normal.)

Here is the current status of said bridge:

Dude (and by "dude", I mean the goddamn sugardaddy who hooked me up with these badass toys; that's right, I'm talkin' to you), you have no idea how happy these things have made me.

It's stupid, but... I really like making bricks out of plaster. Go figure.

Monday Morning: Bike-o-saurus

Back in 1983, this wonderfully bizarre movie called Brainstorm came out. You may remember it: Christopher Walken played the head of this group of scientists making a device that could record and play back people's experiences. It was a wonderfully human story about a remarkable technology, and it fucked me up pretty much for good.

I was 12 at the time, understand. 12, and very, very imaginative. The scene where the guy takes a snip of ribbon that has the orgasm recorded on it, loops it, and then hooks himself up for an endless looped death-by-orgasm was running through my head for, oh, I don't know, ten years or something. I loved it; humans found this wonderful technology, and immediately went about destroying themselves and others with it. Ahhhhhh, people.

But there was this one other scene that actually had a longer lifespan in my head. There's this moment in the film where Our Hero is returning to his house (which is fucking awesome, by the way), riding what I now understand to be a recumbant bicycle. It's a very short scene; it had a windshield mounted to the front of it, and they had put a light of some kind on the bike so that the audience could see his face, and he was just truckin' along, all horizontal-like.

You know what I mean? A recumbant? It's one of those bicycles that you lay down on while you ride?

The image of this bike - this bike that you sit on while you ride it, instead of being all hunched over the handlebars with your butt in the air - planted itself into my cranium, and grew roots. Years later, when I would see someone ride on by in one of those things, the yearning would rise, and I'd get all lustful.

But... see...

I never liked the idea of two wheels. Doesn't it seem like you'd tip right the fuck over when you came to a stop? It sure does to me, and the indignity of falling over while trying to push the button at the crosswalk didn't really seem worth the effort of getting one of these things. And, most of 'em are really fucking ugly. You'd look okay in them if you were a 60-year-old professor from Berkley or something, but an overweight 6' tall long-haired nerd in black? No. No, my friends. That would just be a spectacle.

Recently, though, I spotted this thing, coming home. Some dork was riding what looked like a reverse trike; two wheels in front, one in back, and...

Laides and gentlemen, I'd like you to meet... the EZ Tadpole.



I bought one. It took me four months to convince my wife I wasn't just infatuated with the idea of the thing before she agreed to the expense.

And thus, this wondrous device arrived at my local bike shop last Wednesday. I hustled my ass down there, picked it up, and commuted to work on it on Friday. I ran errands on it for my wife (and myself) all weekend. I chased my son around a parking lot with it (he on his bike, me on mine) on Sunday. I commuted again today.

It's bliss. Gotta tell ya, I have always loved biking. It's the bikes I hate. With a passion. I despise the little seats. I despise the "way-up-in-the-air" perch they give you. I despise the trepidation and terror one experiences when your bike wheels drop into a rut of some kind. I hate flipping over the handlebars and ending up wrapped around the bike, which is wrapped around you. I hate them. Hate hate hate.

I love this tadpole thing. "Tadpole", for your edification, is what is used to describe a trike with the two-in-front-one-in-back configuration. I care not one whit for these details, nor for the whole bike geekiness that threatens to engulf my existence, like dark clouds on the horizon.

No, I only care that I can zip about like a total goofball, out in the California air, getting 30 minutes of hardcore exercise each way, smelling the trees, the bay, and the auto exhaust, and and grinning maniacally against the cold, cold morning air. I bought Jon Stewart's "America: The Audiobook", and listened to it on the way in this morning. I must have cut quite an image: crazed longhair all in black save the neon yellow jersy, tooling along on a red and black tadpole with an orange "look out for me!" flag fluttering high above, laughing out loud at random spots as Jon Stewart said funny shit into my ear...

Yeesh. What a morning.

The E[A]scapist

Wowzers. The Escapist has a whole bunch of articles on EA, just came out.

There's one on how EA became the behemoth it is today.

There's a really horrible piece that couldn't do better than scan that seems to be about the authors opinions on EA's market conditions.

There's that bitchin' ad for Second Life that they run every issue.

There's one on how EA devoured Origin's soul. And this, I think, is by far the most interesting of the lot. Read it, and let's sit down, grab a cup of joe, and talk.

See, it points to something I've been mulling over for some time now. Let's see if I can express my thoughts... algabraically.

• Personal contribution = (personal sacrifice) x (talent)
• Quality = (personal contribution) x (# of developers) x (months)
• Cost = (salaries) x (# of developers) x (months)
• Profit = (quality) x ( (marketing) + (licensing) ) - (cost)
• Personal Profit = (profit) / (# of developers)
  

Solve!

The Origin Way:

• let (personal contribution) = 10,000 dollar ergs of worthiness
• let (# of developers) = 5
• let (months) = random (12-48)
• let (salaries) < (industry average)
• let (marketing) = 3
  
• let (licensing) = 0
  

1. Quality = 10,000 x 5 x ~24 = 1,200,000 (which is a lot of quality, as we all know)
2. Cost = ~$2000 (~$24K) x 5 x 24 = $240,000 (dirt cheap!)
   
3. Sales = 1,200,000 x (3 + 0) = $3,600,000 (people liked it!)
   
4. Profit = $3,600,000 - $240,000 = $3,360,000 (much dough, low overhead)
5. Personal Profit = $3,360,000 / 5 = $672,000 each (which is a lot of green for those 5 people)
   

The EA Way:

• let (personal contribution) = 1000 dollar ergs of worthiness
• let (# of developers) = random (50-200)
• let (months) = 12
• let (salaries) > (industry average)
• let (marketing) = 10
• let (licensing) = 10
  

1. Quality (~1000 x ~125 x 12) = 1,500,000 (which is, of course, only slightly higher than what was achieved above)
2. Cost ($6000 (~$72K) x ~125 x 12) = $9,000,000 (ow! high! ow!)
   
3. Sales (1,500,000 x (10 + 10) ) = $30,000,000
   
4. Profit = $30,000,000 - $9,000,000 = $21,000,000 (much dough, high overhead)
   
5. Personal Profit = $21,000,000 / 125 = HA! Who are you trying to kid.

I'll understand if none of that makes any sense at all. I will. And, I promise not to take it personally when you fail the test on Monday.

...

I could tell you which model I aspire to, but I prefer to seem secretive and reserved. But I bet you can guess.

Aren't You Guys Supposed To Be Unreasonable?

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,13509-1811332,00.html

I mean, it ain't the Pope or anything, but still... those are remarkably sane views presented there.

/confused

p.s. When I say "sane", I mean it in, you know, the context of believing in like a creator who made everything and wants to judge all the souls he made based on their local behavior and stuff. Just, so we're clear.

Overblogged

So... much data... can't hold on...

/deep breath

My children take their breakfast one room over from my web wave-catchin' terminal. I prefer to "hang-10" in the den, if you catch my meaning. And so it was that, this morning, my children got to hear, muffled through the thin wall that seperates my domain from their breakfast table, the deep, stacatto pounding of my evil overlord laugh. It leapt, unbidden, from the depths of my chest and filled the house upon my reading of these words.

I "mu hu wa ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA" 'd my way through the rest of the morning. My children scurried hither and yon, hoping to avoid being tossed into the Pit O' Flame for kicks by this nefarious creature that their father had become.

Made my goddamn morning, it did.

I love being right. Have you heard? Have you heard? Sun & Google have aligned.

What's more hilarious than the news itself is the effluviant skree (to borrow a word from the title of this blog) that it generated. Hyperbole? Absolutely.

As far as I can tell, very little has actually happened. Here's Fortune's take on it, which seems nice and balanced; in short, everyone's pretty excited, but very little concrete has come out of this alignment.

Some folks are, in fact, taking issue with the whole thing. Which, as experienced media watchers know, is a fine indication that something might actually come of all this bru-ha-ha.

Regardless. Clearly we don't know much right now. Except, of course, for this:

"The American internet search group said that the deal would bolster distribution of Sun’s OpenOffice software, which offers similar programs to those available on Microsoft Office, such as word-processing software."

(taken from the Times Online)

Readers of this site have heard me pray to various gods and powers for the day when Google would give me a version of MSWord that I could use with a browser, from anywhere. It appears that the Google gods are kind and just (at least, for now), and want to do just that. And, clever monkeys, they seem to want to do that with a product that already exists.

I {heart} Google.

...

BUT!! For cryin' out loud. If you can believe it, that's actually only the first piece of remarkable news to hit the stands this morning.

I love being right. Have you heard? Have you heard? The EA lawsuit got bought out--I mean, settled.

This one I haven't spent much time on. I used to work for those yahoos, see, and it didn't seem like a good use of my time to blog about how much it sucks to work there, when other folk have done such an admirable job of that already.

That said, anyone with a passing familiarity with the way EA does business will not be startled at my opinion on how this particular lawsuit would (and will) pan out. It goes something like this:

1. EA will buy out the plaintiffs to prevent a judgement from being entered. This is prudent, and the right thing for EA to do for its own preservation.
2. Alas, this will leave the actual law unclear, and will leave the door open to future abuses.
3. EA will engage in future abuses, in part as a knee-jerk retribution against being ashamed in public. Still unable to make significant changes on their teams, managers will find themselves speaking the words "Well, you guys wanted to be hourly, so... I don't know what to tell you."
4. Working conditions will worsen, EA's profits will increase, and the hourly workers will experience increasing resentment over their small slice of the pie (even though that was the deal they signed up for).
5. The hourly workers will eventually call IATSE (the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees, Moving Picture Technicians, Artists and Allied Crafts), and the drive to unionize will begin.
6. (This may or may not actually improve things. It entirely depends on who's in charge and what issues galvanize the membership.)
   

But, as a friend of mine just said, "Yeah, here's my prediction: the sun's going to fucking rise tomorrow morning." ;)

OMFG

WOW!! An interesting section of CNN.com!!!

Two Things

Thing The First: The Revolution Controller.

It's nice to see Nintendo finally take off the gloves, and just admit it.

"We admit it," this controller says. "We admit that we're tired of you guys not getting us. We're tired of having to invite you guys to all of our parties. We just want to have some fun, you know? Fun? You remember fun, yeah?

"So, here's the deal: from here on out, we're going to make all of our own games. Yeah, that's right. Turns out we don't need any of your ports, because, well... our games are all better than yours, and it's... frankly... getting kind of embarassing.

"So. From here on out, we'll make the system, all the games, and you guys... well... just try and keep up, okay?"

About a year ago, Nintendo's new prez-guy Saturo Iwata gave a talk or two in which he laid out in some detail the analysis that was (and is) driving Nintendo's recent seemingly bizarre design decisions. In short:

The appeal of new technologies in display will become less and less important over the next decade. Thus, as a whole the gaming industry needs to figure out what it will look like once (say) we can create worlds that are indistinguishable from reality, and can no longer innovate with more polygons. Nintendo believes that part of the solution is changing the interface with each new iteration, to provide a springboard for new ideas that will seem fresh to the consumer.

...

You know, he just might have a point there.

Thing The Second: Final Fantasy: Advent Children leaked to the web.

Yeesh. It's very strange, living with the dawning awareness that the longer I stay in this here games industry, the more folks stealing the work of entertainment professionals is starting to bother me.

I haven't reached the "passing judgement" phase yet, but it does raise a certain amount of ire. This, unfortunately, puts me squarely in the "uncool" division of media consumers. *sigh* And, I was so cool before now.

I had this moment a while ago: there's this kid I worked with at [--titanic game company's name deleted to create false air of secrecy--], name of [--names have been erased to protect the innocent--]. Brilliant engineer, and a hell of a nice guy. Turns out his dad was one of the orignal founders of the games industry, an early entrant into the biz. This one day, I mentioned to him the idea that he could just "borrow" a copy of a video game to see if he liked it, and his reaction pretty much permanently changed how I thought about that practice. He laughed and said, "No, no, I don't steal any video games. Every dollar I've ever had in my entire life came from video game sales, so, as much as I can, I want to give other people the opportunity that I had, and let them make a reasonable living off of the sale of their work."

I kinda sat there for a while, just a little stunned, and mulled that over. And, see, now I don't steal my entertainment.

*sigh*

So, when I saw that FF:AC had been leaked, I clicked to the site, read through some of the comments to see what was going on, and then left. My main emotion was (and still is) sympathy for the folks still working on the title. It is, perhaps, one of the unfortunate side effects of my time in the industry that I'm getting all creaky and unsympathetic about this topic. C'est la vie.

But, I will say that it is nice to hear that people like the film, at least.

Break It Down For Me Fellas

So the July Monthly Indie Games Roundup is up.

(By the way, if you haven't tried Ye Olde Truck Dismount game, well, ya should.)

This gets me to thinkin'. (I'm obsessive that way.) I've read the Roundup every month since I found it, and I just keep wondering. These guys talk amongst themselves (if filing a one-paragraph review on a game can be described in such a manner) casually about how a certain game "is a Diablo II clone, and much better than most" or "is another R-type game", and it sets my mind to spinning...

...how many kinds of games are there? Is it, perhaps, a finite set?

Of course, that notion is absurd. However... when you throw out every type of game that doesn't score a 9 or a 10, the field shrinks dramatically. I'm starting to believe that there is a finite set of interesting games that can strike the fancy of humans. One list might look like this:

- the diablo (top-down iso real-time RPG with random dungeon generation)
- the rogue (top-down turn-based RPG with random dungeon generation)
- the xevious (top-down game-paced top-scrolling shooter)
- the commando (top-down player-paced top-scrolling shooter)
- the r-type (side scrolling game-paced shooter)
- the mario (side scrolling 2d platformer)
- the metroid (side-scrolling 2d platformer + shooter with up and down scrolling)
- the arkanoid (paddle-based ball & wall)
- the marble madness (or, the hamsterball if you prefer)
- the bejeweled (pattern matching grid game)
- the tetris (pattern matching time pressure game)
- the street fighter (2d fighter)
- the duck hunt (shooting gallery; also known as the hogan's alley)
- the bioware (top-down iso RPG)
- the kotor (3rd person turn-based-combat RPG)
- the zelda (3rd person realtime-combat RPG)
- the wolfenstein (1st-person shooter)
- the hitman (3rd-person shooter)
- the minesweeper
- the pinball
- the [insert all sports types]
- ...?

There are more, I am sure. Help me out here.

[Edit 11:11am: I've been helped! Here's my digestion of the brave Druid's post:

- the starcraft (top-down RTS)
- the battlezone (first-person RTS; lo, may we someday again meet one of your elusive kin)
- the sim city (city simulator)
- the civilization (turn-based cultural RPG)
- the sims (people simulator)
- the tamagotchi (pet simulator)
- the [insert all card games]
- the risk (turn-based unit-based map-based warfare)
- the advance wars (turn-based tactical warfare)
- the mario 64 (3D platformer)
- the druid is a sarcastic whiner (text adventures)
- the myst (1st-person clicky adventure)
- the police quest (3rd-person clicky adventure)
- the ddr (rhythm game)
- the robotron (swarm-based speed shooter; also known as the sinistar)
- the space hulk (turn-based squad-based action)
- the pac-man (speed-based vacuum game; also known as the katamari)
- the insaniquarium (swarm-based speed vacuum game?)
- the tempest (something completely unique, and never repeated; also known as the qix)
- the panzer dragoon (3D rail-shooter)
- the lineage (3rd-person iso massive online RPG)
- the world of warcraft (3rd person massive online RPG; also known, by heretics, as the everquest)
- the house of the dead (action-arcade shooting gallery)

...we're doin' pretty good! Are there more?]

[Edit 4:16pm: A few more occur to me:

- the contra (2D player-paced side-scrolling shooter)
- the kirby (2D player-paced side-scrolling fighter; also known as the rygar)
- the gauntlet (1 to 4-player top-down brawler)
- the dragon's lair (interactive movie)
- the resident evil (3rd-person survival horror)
- the grand theft auto (3rd-person urban life simulation)

...?]

Are You Tired?

Check this out.

Here's some more about that.

Near the end, that article (the second clicky link there) says something like this:

People trust simply designed sites. Tired.com's plain-text, unadorned format seems soothing and trustworthy, particularly when compared to the garish, on-the-make look of most sites.

I think this is true, and I think it's something that is often overlooked in design: simplicity = clarity = comfort.

I wish I had more to say about that, but I think that about sums it up.

Darkon...?

If you haven't seen the Darkon trailer... well, you're about to.

Before you go there, however, I have to warn you: what you see may horrify you. Like, in a "oh my GOD I can't believe that actually happens" kind of way.

It also may delight you. Depends, I suppose, on how far into that well you've dipped your bucket in your sordid, secret past (yes, we know all about it, and even about that other thing).

However, there's something absolutely wonderful about what you are about to see, but to see it you have to get through at least halfway. So, go. Go, I say.

Done?

Okay, I have this to say about that there thing. It is high time someone made a serious documentary about the utter lunacy that live action gamers put themselves through. If the eventual product is anything like the trailer you just saw, I can safely say that the filmmakers will have captured nearly exactly what it is like to be engaged in that madess.

I know this. Because when I watch it I experience a kind of fascinated horror at the sheer nerve of these people to do such audacious thing. Mixed in with this is a kind of wonderous delight at the medieval pagentry and utter swords & sorcery-ness of the whole thing.

And, see, this is exactly how I feel when I attend one of these escapades.

Why do I do it? I think it's because the pain that I experience at watching nerds struggle through horrible improvised drama with utterly false accents does not exceed the rewarding pleasure I experience at the sight of piles of swords laid out for sale, or wonderous flowery medieval garb-ery. It's close, but it's still a net gain.

And thus, as the emotion of watching this trailer precisely replicates the emotion of attending the events this documentary portends to display, I can only assume that they've got it right. Don't flinch from the stupidness, and also let the wonderousness of it all come forward in its own time, and maybe you might have some fun.

Goodness knows, I'm suddenly looking forward to seeing this little filmic project. Oh yes.

> write blog entry

West of House

You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door.

There is a small mailbox here.

>

See, yeah. Even now, in these days of multi-pass shaders and 5,000-polygon character models, there's something there.

Admit it. You want to open the mailbox. I know, so do I.

> open mailbox

Opening the mailbox reveals a leaflet.

>

Yeah, and this is where the slippery slope begins.

Admittedly, a large part of the appeal of the text adventure back in the day was the simple fact that it was immersive and interactive. That portion of the appeal has now been claimed by the Half Life 2s of the world. Resoundingly. I mean, look at it.

So complete was the takeover that many fans of interactive entertanment ("gamers", for those of you keeping score at home) convinced themselves that there was, in fact, nothing left behind. That the world of text adventures was nothing more than a cored out husk, dry and brittle. A kind of technological mummy: interesting when observed in a museum, but only to provide historical edjumacation.

To these folk, I say, bah.

The best argument I've found to demonstrate why I still am interested in this ancient word-based form of entertainment is Andrew Plotkin's Spider and Web. There is, quite simply, no better way to convey this kind of experience than through interactive text.

[ A technical aside: in order to actually play the .z5 file that you'll find at the end of that link, you'll need Frotz for Windows. The way this works is you download the game file, and then run it with a "player", which is what Frotz is. In Frotz, do File->Open on the .z5 file. I know, I know. They're working on it. ]

(I am making the unreasonable assumption that if you aren't using Windows, you are likely capable of figuring out what steps to take to find a player for your system. Believe me when I say that there are players for Every Goddamn Platform Known To Mankind.)

There are others out there of that quality as well. And, the thing that makes me go "hmmm," is that these people are all unpaid fans. Imagine what would happen if there were actual companies out there who were making these kinds of games full time.

There's hundreds of dollars to be made out there. Maybe even thousands.

That, however, is the really interesting thing. Games as a whole are large enough now that even a 2% slice of a niche genre is enough to live on. I like it.

I Have Fallen Into A Hole

So, everything was cool this morning. The world was revolving as it should, I had coffee with my egg thing for breakfast, and woke my children from their slumber. Then, this happened.

I clicked, see. I clicked, when I should have turned away, disinterested.

Let me give you some background.

I have a deep-rooted interest in the evolution of the independent game development community. For years upon years now I have suffered the complaints and gripes of my fellow corporate slave monkeys who "wish there was some way to make money in games", who would "love to make their own game" if only "there was any money in it".

There are 10,000 variations on this line. The general idea is that where we are is all there is, and no one could possibly be doing the thing that we wish we were doing (which is making games that are fun), because clearly if that was possible, we, of course, would be doing it.

Let me apply an opinion to my otherwise dry and empty rhetoric. That, my friends, is a load of crap. So says I.

Thus, I watch with loving, adoring fascination as the independant games industry emerges from it's chrysalis, and spreads its wings. The last two or three years have been amazing. I've said to several folks that the independents of today as a whole look to me like the whole industry did about 6 years ago. That is to say, small teams, some very high-quality product (with some real stinkers in there), and some folks that are starting to figure out how to actually sustain a profit.

There is, for example, PlayFirst. Oasis is an outstanding game, one that I dumped a vast quantity of time into over the last month. It's the one that convinced me that it's all up and running. Diner Dash has eaten my children. It had me in it's foul grip for some time, but I believe I have escaped.

SO! Back to our thread. So I click. And I find Game Tunnel.

I had no idea these guys existed, and how can that be, but who cares, they have the Top 10 Indy Games of 2004! Shit, is that Wik & the Fable of Souls? I've played that! (It's awesome, btw.) And, other stuff... and... and...

So you see, it's been like this all morning, with no signs of abating. I have found, in the very same moment, proof that indy games are a viable alternative to the Big Guns (proof that I can send in an email no less), and found a rich, verdant jungle filled with mad gaming weirdness. HamsterBall?

It's going to be a long week.

E3: X-Box "Fans" Not What They Seem

I love this Machiavelian shit.

http://www.satori.org/blog/archives/000270.html

Love it! Hire the beautiful people! I saw the same thing at the G-Phoria awards show; the crowd was all these 20-something gorgeous young actors from the Film Extras Guild or something, and they looked great, grinding and gyrating to the music and screaming ecstatically whenever one of the announcers completed a sentence. It actually made pretty good TV, and I figure that's what Microsoft was thinking.

The politically-motivated bastards. What, are they trying to win, or something???

I've Played Most Of These

And the ones I haven't played, by golly, I should.

The Top 99 Games Of All Time (Reader's Picks)

p.s. This is actually a pretty good list. It has less of the Prostrating Ourselves Before The Altar Of Interactivity stuff that the magazine editors & industry folks put together. Most of these games are just actually fun.

Oh my god

Genius. I certainly ain't the first to pass this link along, but god DAMN it if I can't keep myself from linking:

http://www.experimentalgameplay.com/

In particular, Tower of Blobs must be played.